


touches (brought to you by bellamy blake)

by catrasmurph



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Bellamy Blake, Fluff and Angst, Gay John Murphy (The 100), M/M, Promises, Touching, just two dudes throwing knives no homo, kinda canon compliant kinda not idk, this is bad im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:00:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26235268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catrasmurph/pseuds/catrasmurph
Summary: The times Bellamy has touched Murphy
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Raven Reyes, Bellamy Blake/John Murphy, Clarke Griffin & John Murphy
Comments: 3
Kudos: 51





	touches (brought to you by bellamy blake)

The first time Bellamy Blake touches him, it’s magical. 

He’s practicing throwing his knife when Bellamy places a rough hand on his wrist and explains how to throw it. The small touch shocked Murphy with its unexpected tenderness. 

“It’s all about the wrist.” Bellamy directs. His curly hair was sticking to his forehead from sweat and his face was speckled with dirt. Murphy thought he looked beautiful. 

“Got it.” Murphy tried to concentrate, but Bellamy’s looming presence wasn’t helping. Bellamy took a few steps back, and Murphy took that as his cue to throw the knife. He hurls the knife at the nearest tree, flicking his wrist exactly the way Bellamy told him to. The knife bounces off the tree and Murphy curses under his breath.

“Hey, it’s okay. It takes a lot of practice.” Bellamy assures softly.

He scoffs, watching the other delinquents succeed in landing their knives into trees. Bellamy gives him a small smile.

“I’ll help you. I promise.” Bellamy says warmly.

Murphy was taken aback by Bellamy’s gentle tone. “No matter how long it takes?”

“No matter how long it takes.” He promises.

Bellamy breaks his promise.

The second time Bellamy Blake touches him, he’s being shoved into the ground. A crowd is cheering for his death.

“HE DESERVES TO DIE!” He screams. 

Then he’s being tied up by his arms and ankles. Someone puts a gag in his mouth. A red seatbelt finds its way around his neck. He’s doing his best to stand on the crate below his feet. He locks eyes with Bellamy. His eyes are filled with guilt, but he’s clearly ignoring his own feelings.

“Bellamy. Bellamy, please. Don’t do it.” He begs, the gag muffling his voice. Despite this, he knows Bellamy hears him by the way tears well up in his eyes.

“Bellamy, please! I saw you in the woods with Atom, I know you’re not a killer!” Clarke exclaims, attempting to put an end to the soon to be hanging.

Bellamy glares at her, taking her words as a challenge instead of encouragement. He couldn’t afford the 100 thinking he wasn’t a capable leader. Without a word, he kicks the crate out from beneath Murphy’s feet. The crowd roars.

The third time Bellamy Blake touches him, he’s apologizing. 

He grabs Murphy’s hand, and Murphy is flooded with memories of the time they spent before the hanging. Throwing knives, starting anarchy, annoying Clarke. You know, the basics of any teen romance.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve stopped them. It’s my fault.”

Murphy can’t meet his eyes. He wants so badly to forgive Bellamy, to go back to the way things were, but he can’t trust that Bellamy won’t break his heart again. Murphy knew he was too loyal for his own good and still after everything Bellamy has done to him, he would still follow him to the ends of Earth. Murphy remains silent.

“Murph…” Bellamy pleads.

“Don’t call me that.” He finally meets Bellamy’s eyes, and regrets it instantly. Bellamy looks utterly heartbroken. “Look, Bellamy, I’m sorry. I really am. But I can’t stay here at the camp.”

Bellamy still has a grip on his hand. “Where will you go?” He asks quietly, and then his voice drops even lower. “Is it because of me?”

Murphy sighs and decides not to answer the first question, he had no idea where he was going. “What do you think? You tried to kill me, and then banished me. Got me tortured for three days in the process.” He breaks out of Bellamy’s grasp. “If it makes you feel better, it’s not all your fault. Some people here still want me dead, so I gotta leave before they tie a noose around my neck again.”

“I won’t let them do that to you.” 

In this moment, Murphy honestly thinks Bellamy looks pathetic. His eyes are filled with tears and he’s never looked more defeated. All of this over him. Murphy doesn’t know why he cares so much, given the fact he was perfectly content with killing him for a display of power just a couple of days ago. 

“Why do you have to make this so fucking difficult?” Murphy asks, tears welling up in his eyes instead of Bellamy’s now. But he won’t allow himself to cry in front of Bellamy.

Bellamy looks down at his feet before answering. “I don’t want to lose you again, Murphy.”

Murphy doesn’t know what to say, so he simply walks away from him. He doesn’t care if his brain is screaming at him to stay, he won’t allow himself to be hurt again. 

“Murphy, wait!” Bellamy jogs after him, grabbing him by the shoulder this time. “What if the Grounders get you again?”

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take.” He replies, refusing to look Bellamy in the eyes again.

“Are you seriously saying you’re safer out there than with us? With me?”

“Yes.” He says simply. 

Bellamy lets go of his shoulder, looking at the ground in defeat. “Fine. Go ahead, leave.”

Murphy nods wordlessly, walking towards the woods. Clarke joins him. “He missed you while you were gone, you know.”

“Well maybe he shouldn’t have banished me.”

Clarke sighs. “Look Murphy, I get it. I wouldn’t want to be here either. But maybe you should give him a chance. He’s really sorry.”

Murphy laughs bitterly. “I know he is.”

The third time Bellamy Blake touches him, it’s a hug.

Bellamy’s arms are warm and inviting around his shoulders and Murphy is, to his own surprise, hugging him back. Murphy hates it, but it feels so right. They finally let go of each other and their gazes meet.

“You came back…” Bellamy trails off, clearly not able to find the words he wants to say. He settles for a soft smile, and Murphy can’t remember the last time he saw him smile like that.

“Well, I wasn’t gonna let you get your ass killed.” Despite Murphy’s lighthearted tone, there’s a seriousness in his eyes. He cracks a genuine smile.

“Alright, break it up lovebirds.” Raven interrupts with a smirk. “We can’t have Bellamy going too soft on us.”

“Shut it, Reyes.” 

The fourth time Bellamy Blake touches him, he’s cupping his face in his hands.

“Murphy…”

Murphy searches Bellamy’s eyes. They were filled with something Murphy could describe only as love. He swallowed nervously.

“I love you. And I hope you can finally trust me.” He confesses.

Murphy places a hand on Bellamy’s, using his thumb to trace little circles on it. “I love you too. And I’ll always trust you.” Murphy admits with a lopsided smile.

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

Murphy keeps his promise.

**Author's Note:**

> yes i know murph and bell have touched each other a lot more in canon but bear with me


End file.
